The "Hilariously Serious" Kruger Park Hostel Commandments 🐾

Rule 1: Fido's Safari Dreams

Sorry, no pets allowed. As tempting as it is to imagine Fido going paw-to-paw with Simba, you're in a game reserve where the other animals have home turf advantage. Trust us, it's safer for everyone involved.

Rule 2: Adulting Required

Look, we love the kiddos, but you've got to be at least 18 to crash here. It's not us, it's the law. Well, actually, it is us... but also the law.

Rule 3: No Picnic in the Bedroom

Leave your midnight snacks and soda-pop dreams at the door. We've got designated munching zones, and your room ain't one of them.

Rule 4: Keep it Classy, Folks

Let's not get wild in the wrong ways. Illicit or indecent behavior isn't just frowned upon; it's a no-go. You're in a game reserve, not Vegas.

Rule 5: The Hippos Are Watching

Feel free to enjoy our neighbourly hippos from Marloth Park, but remember, no visitors or plus-ones in the residence areas. The hippos said so.

Hippos in the Kruger National Park viewable from Marloth Park

Rule 6: Smoke Signals

Smoking inside? Nope. If you're craving a puff, take it outside—far, far away from this smoke-free sanctuary.

Rule 7: Cheers! But...Gently

Alcohol is fine in common areas, but let's keep it classy and within reason. We're all here for a good time, not a blurred time.

Rule 8: Turn Down for What? For Lions!

Noise pollution is a no-no. Marloth Park prefers the soothing sounds of lions roaring to your blasting playlist. Don't rob yourself of a potential lion lullaby.

Rule 9: Tick Tock, Watch the Clock

Check-in is after 2 PM, and check-out is by 10 AM. Wanna bend time? Ask us. If we can, we will.

Rule 10: No MasterChef Shenanigans

We don't have a communal kitchen, but hey, breakfast is on us! No storing your grandma's casserole in our fridges, and sorry, our BBQ is not for public hijinks.

Rule 11: Slip 'n Slide Caution

Wet tiles can turn you into an unintentional breakdancer. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Rule 12: No Glass by the Pool

This isn't a pool party movie scene. Keep the glassware away to avoid turning the pool into a hazard zone.

Rule 13: BYOB? Nah, Buy At Our Bar! 🍻

Look, we get it. You found this amazing South African wine you can't live without. But guess what? We've got a bar stocked with goodies that'll make your taste buds do the happy dance. So keep your personal stash of booze out of the hostel and let us play mixologist for you. Cheers!

Rule 14: Have a Blast!

But seriously, have a good time. It's actually mandatory.

Follow these commandments and thou shalt have an awesome time at Kruger Park Hostel. Amen! 🦁

Vulture at Kruger Park Hostel in Marloth Park